New Central Line = Surgery

Around here, they make surgery sound so simple, so standard, common and even normal. It's hard to believe they were thinking of sending us home right afterwards, but they were.  Had we done the surgery this morning, they said we would be home by now. But, they were "booked" for the day so they had to put Jacob on the schedule for the end of the day and since they figured it would be close to 8:00 by the time he got back to his room, they gave us the choice of staying the night & going home in the morning or just going home tonight afterwards. Well, I said (and Jacob agreed) that we would rather watch him here through the night and go home in the morning. Sooo glad we chose that route!  He woke up in so much pain and he just looked awful.  So, as much as I want to take him home and as anxious as we are to be home with the rest of the kids in our own beds...once again, I have to go with the Lord's timing on this one and know that he will be home when it's safe for him to be there.

The great news is that he has a perfect new central line! Yay!! It has been a real headache and even a little scary at times dealing with his old line that would get clogged up and work sluggishly at best through these last 3 rounds of treatment.  After the Septic scare night when the nurse was trying so hard to get fluids in him super fast and practically had to manually pump them in, I can really understand why the Bone Marrow Docs insist on having a perfect line installed prior to transplant.

The surgeon was actually able to place the new line right through the same vein that the old one ran through. He has a new exit site where the line comes out of his chest and a little sore where the old one was, but under that it's the same vein that leads to his heart. Ugh...that still sounds soo scary.  It's hard to believe how far we have come in dealing with all of this, accepting a new little pipe to his heart with gratitude. ...Bleh!

As Jacob was recovering, we were chatting with his nurse.  We learned that her Dad had a bone marrow transplant just a couple of years ago at the age of 67!  He is doing great now and just recently, he was out mowing her lawn and she said as she watched him that it struck her how the whole ordeal feels like a distant memory already. Looking at him now, she said no-one else would ever know what he had been through.

I pray for that day to come for Jacob when we will all look back on this ordeal as a distant memory of a difficult time that will be behind us and he can proudly say he conquered cancer!  I know that our lives will never be the same and that we are changed forever because of this, but I pray daily that Jacob will not be scarred and that he can return to doing all the things he loves to do and that only him, us and those of you who read this will ever look at him and know what he has been through. 

Sometimes, when I look at him I am amazed at how I have come to accept him in this condition as "normal".  I look at him and it's like I can see through it all and he's still my crazy boy with his funny little comments who always makes me smile. I don't even notice the bald head or his pale complexion. Other times, I look at him as if through the eyes of someone who just met him for the first time and may be judging him by what he looks like now...as sick as he is.  When I look from the outside like that, it brings a surge of emotion to realize he is that kid right now. It's hard to explain, but the best way I can try to express it is through the eyes of a stranger.  Almost 2 weeks ago, in the elevator on our way down to a CT scan and MRI, there was a young girl about Jacob's age on the elevator.  She looked at him and then backed up into the corner, her eyes wide and with a sad, scared look of pity on her face.  I knew what she was thinking and I wanted to say, "It's Ok, this kid is a superhero! He's the toughest kid you'll ever meet.  You wouldn't believe all the stuff he's been through and he may not look like it now, but he's an amazing snowboarder! Check out these pics on my phone...he's way cute too."  Ya, that's what I was thinking...She was a cute girl his age and I thought he would probably be checking her out if he didn't have those blinders on his eyes cuz he was so sensitive to light that day with headaches.  But, ...he never even knew she was in there. I have this feeling though, that she will never forget him.